My B+ Attempts at Being All That

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I Love You More Than Pizza

on February 14, 2018

In honor of nearly two decades with the man of my series of thoughts during my blanket-reclaiming snore fest, I thought I’d take a stab at creating some greeting cards to commemorate a day created just so we could need greeting cards. If you’re in a googly-eyed, kissy-kissy sort of spot with your fella or gal, don’t judge. Talk to me in 20 years. Or, judge and head over to Hallmark.

So, here’s one card for every year we’ve been hitched and a few extras for luck:

  1. Man, the way you rinsed those plates off before putting them in the right place in the dishwasher makes my heart hum.
  2. I love the way you show me how much you care by yelling at every other driver but not the one you married and who happens to be driving your car.
  3. Your attempts to moderately disguise your eye rolling at the Visa bill makes me smile.
  4. I think you’re aces when you wake me up by gently throwing some shoes at me when I’m late for something.
  5. I love the way you turned gaining weight and losing hair into a playful and ferocious competition just to help a sista’ out.
  6. Your passion (for college basketball) still burns bright, even after 20 years.
  7. I love you more than pizza. Unless it’s the kind that has that fancy cheese on it. I mean, who had that great idea?
  8. I’m always overjoyed to see you (with takeout food) at the end of the day.
  9. You tolerate my dog, and that makes you number three in my book.
  10. The way you call baking my real gift right after I cook you a non-baked dinner really shows how much you love me.
  11. You hide your irritation with picking up the slack when I’m too busy cracking myself up to do anything else, and I like that.
  12. Thanks for not letting the true love of my life – cheeseburgers – get in the way of our 20 years of wedded bliss.
  13. The way you pretended that fart wasn’t toxic shows me you really care.
  14. I love the way you pretend to listen to me during the commercials of whatever random sporting event has caught your attention.
  15. You make talking about 401K planning slightly less painful than a root canal.
  16. I love quality time with you (out of the house on the weekends so I can hear myself think).
  17. Thanks for not judging my third slice of pizza and for tossing me the Tums afterward.
  18. When you fold laundry, it makes you more than moderately appealing.
  19. I love the way you pretend I didn’t shave my legs. Last year.
  20. You don’t suck.
  21. There’s no one I’d rather ignore on the couch every night than you.

And, quite frankly, there isn’t. He’s a good guy. But 20 years of marriage brings to the surface a bit more of the mundane than the Hallmark. And that’s okay. Because we all fart, and laundry doesn’t just do itself. And apparently, I am more than a little focused on food.

Happy Valentine’s Day



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